Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Don't be afraid to ask questions
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Why is it that we so often are afraid to ask questions?  I know for me, the reasons have varied but mostly they were based on a feeling of insecurity.  I didn’t want people to know I might need help, that I actually didn’t know everything or in some cases I was afraid to get no for an answer.   How silly was that? We all get no for an answer at times don’t we?

New job

Almost every time I have started a new job my new colleagues have told me; “don’t be afraid to ask questions”, or; “there is no such thing as a stupid question”.  Yet after just a short while it begins to feel awkward to ask for help because I don’t want to be a nuisance and it is tough to admit that I don’t know everything I need to know. I’m not saying I haven’t asked questions, but I probably should have asked more often than I did.

Not asking enough questions when you are on a new job can cause problems, because if you don’t know how to do things then you can either do them wrong, or you will not do them at all.  Doing your job wrong can, in worst case, be dangerous and cause accidents while not doing it at all can cause problems with your bosses.  Considering this, isn’t it better to ask the questions and run the risk of being a nuisance?

Confusion is natural

Don't be afraid to ask questions
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I could not understand why I got so confused after the first few weeks on a new job, so I started to do some research on what was going on and this is what I found: when you are learning new things, like a new job, computer program or something, the brain has to create new connections and file all the new information in a system that will make it possible to call forth the information at will.  The process of creating this new ‘filing system’ takes some time and while this is going on, all the new information is floating around and therefore is hard to pick up when you need it.

What do you need?

If you are anything like me, asking for help or support can be really tricky, it makes you feel vulnerable and that you are putting yourself out there exposing your weaknesses.  It is not easy to open yourself to someone, ask them for something and run the risk of getting a no.  But the thing is, the more you practice and put yourself out there the easier it gets, for every no you receive, it takes you closer to that yes!

Don't be afraid to ask questions
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I have sold Tupperware, Mary Kay cosmetics, my own crafts and some other stuff so I can tell you; that is some good practice!  When you are selling you get more no’s than you can count, but you also get tougher so that you can take it.

When YOU say no

Have you ever thought about when it is the other way around?  To answer that, saying no is not an intention of harm, you’re just telling them what you think or what you don’t want.  It is the same thing when people say no to you!  They don’t mean to hurt you, they are not pushing you down, they just don’t want what you are offering right then.

No is not a bad word, it is very useful, you should learn to use it to make your own life better, protect your own feelings and set your boundaries, but don not be afraid of it when someone says it to you.

Please tell me your thoughts on this or any of the other posts in the comments section!

Take care!  Kristina

16 thoughts on “Don’t be afraid to ask questions”

  1. You are so right! In fact, the more you ask questions, the more you learn. After all, even researching to find out more is to answer that question in your head! Cheers! 😀

    1. that is so true, we all have to aske questions but it can be hard, especially if you are insecure. it is the best way to learn though 🙂

        1. You are so right, we should deffinitely learn from them and not ask them to stop asking questions! Regards, Kristina

  2. I love it! This post nearly mirrors (in my opinion) the post that I put up today. I did a review on a lecture of “Evolve Your Brain – The Science of Changing Your Mind” by Joe Dispenza.

    I sincerely believe that there is no such thing as asking too many questions. Contrary, there is such a thing as asking the same questions and expecting a different answer.

    1. Hi Mr Z, I’ll check out your post! There really is no such thing as asking too many questions, and you have to ask a lot of questions to learn things, how else would you do it?

  3. Kristina, this is a good post and great advice. I also, tend to not ask questions. Not sure if its insecurity or just plain pride. But sometimes we really do need to stand tall and suck in our pride and ask questions. I also have a problem saying no to people asking me to do things; but I’m getting over that. My health has deteriorated and I can physically do much less, so saying no has become much easier. For me. Again, nice post. Shirley

    1. Hi Shirley! sorry to hear that your health has deteriorated. You are right that we need to stand tall and ask questions and also learn to say no. We have the right to do that! Wishing you improved health, Kristina

  4. In my work I get a lot of No’s, and Im learning to understand that people are ultimately saying No to themselves rather than to what Im offering – because of their own concerns or fears. This makes a No said to me a lot easier, it also helps me to look at how I can be in integrity and in service to them and look for a way to help them see past their concern or fear and evaluate what Im offering in a better light for them.
    Thanks for a great post Kristina!

    1. Thank you Val! How great that you are overcoming the fear, it is so liberating to be able to use the word and to accept it when others use it.

  5. Some great points here. We tend to have such a weird relationship with the word no. WHen people say it to us we feel hurt and rejected, and because of that we struggle to say it to others, often only to hurt ourselves! thanks for sharing

    1. Hi Christine, glad you liked it! The word no can really cause problems in many relationships, and we tend to do whatever it takes not to use it and not to let others use it on us.

  6. I’ve always thought my learning process is quite messy with a lot of mistakes. I think the brain having to make new connections like you said is right on. Some employers should be told that!

    1. Hi Mori! I have actually told employers this when I have started new jobs and then told them again after a while, some have understood, some haven’t….

  7. Hi, Kristina. You definitely got point for this – ask questions whether you need to. When I get my new job, I rather look stupid and ask some questions to my supervisor than commit unnecessary mistake and misunderstanding, sometime it doesn’t worth that. 🙂

    1. Thanks! Better to ask questions than to make mistakes, most defintiely. If you don’t ask questions you will never learn everything you need to know. Regards, Kristina

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