Why is it that we so often are afraid to ask questions? I know for me, the reasons have varied but mostly they were based on a feeling of insecurity. I didn’t want people to know I might need help, that I actually didn’t know everything or in some cases I was afraid to get no for an answer. How silly was that? We all get no for an answer at times don’t we?
Almost every time I have started a new job my new colleagues have told me; “don’t be afraid to ask questions”, or; “there is no such thing as a stupid question”. Yet after just a short while it begins to feel awkward to ask for help because I don’t want to be a nuisance and it is tough to admit that I don’t know everything I need to know. I’m not saying I haven’t asked questions, but I probably should have asked more often than I did.
Not asking enough questions when you are on a new job can cause problems, because if you don’t know how to do things then you can either do them wrong, or you will not do them at all. Doing your job wrong can, in worst case, be dangerous and cause accidents while not doing it at all can cause problems with your bosses. Considering this, isn’t it better to ask the questions and run the risk of being a nuisance?
Confusion is natural
I could not understand why I got so confused after the first few weeks on a new job, so I started to do some research on what was going on and this is what I found: when you are learning new things, like a new job, computer program or something, the brain has to create new connections and file all the new information in a system that will make it possible to call forth the information at will. The process of creating this new ‘filing system’ takes some time and while this is going on, all the new information is floating around and therefore is hard to pick up when you need it.
What do you need?
If you are anything like me, asking for help or support can be really tricky, it makes you feel vulnerable and that you are putting yourself out there exposing your weaknesses. It is not easy to open yourself to someone, ask them for something and run the risk of getting a no. But the thing is, the more you practice and put yourself out there the easier it gets, for every no you receive, it takes you closer to that yes!
I have sold Tupperware, Mary Kay cosmetics, my own crafts and some other stuff so I can tell you; that is some good practice! When you are selling you get more no’s than you can count, but you also get tougher so that you can take it.
When YOU say no
Have you ever thought about when it is the other way around? To answer that, saying no is not an intention of harm, you’re just telling them what you think or what you don’t want. It is the same thing when people say no to you! They don’t mean to hurt you, they are not pushing you down, they just don’t want what you are offering right then.
No is not a bad word, it is very useful, you should learn to use it to make your own life better, protect your own feelings and set your boundaries, but don not be afraid of it when someone says it to you.
Please tell me your thoughts on this or any of the other posts in the comments section!
Take care! Kristina