Fight hate with love

Fight Hate With LoveI used to be one of those who reacted with anger in a split second when I felt disrespected. All my shields went up and I defended myself fiercely. It didn’t make a difference if I deep down felt that the ‘aggressor’ was right, I would not admit it for the life of me. I’d rather go down kicking and screaming defending something I knew was wrong than admit defeat. I could so easily have become a hater and someone who attacks others if I hadn’t had a good role model in my maternal grandmother and sense enough to look at what I was doing and also read a lot of good books. Some of these books are presented here on this website and more will come.

Love and hate

As I have contemplated and read about the issues of love and hate, ego and self, I have come to the conclusion that what it is all about is fear. There is really only two emotions: love and fear, and fear is generally a lack of love. This makes the matter so simple and yet so difficult; what we need is more love to cure the fear, but to a person who is full of fear, showing love is a sign of weakness. What is worse is that when the ego is working mostly on fear it tips over into what we call hate because the feeling of fear becomes so painful and exhausting that it is easier to decide that everyone who don’t think like me are only worthy of my hate.

Fight Hate With Love

The two voices

I remember when I first figured out that we have these two voices in our heads; the voice of self and the voice of ego. As I understood that the voice of the ego is the one that immediately jumps into action when I feel ‘threatened’ it was such a relief, because I then knew I could stop listening to it. The ego voice is not me and there is strength and also relief in being able to resist it.

The end to wars?

Fight Hate With LoveThe ego used to be very important when we were living as hunters and gatherers and had to defend ourselves against wild animals. It helped us muster our courage and retaliate when we were under attack or had to run for our lives. We really needed it then but now it is no longer so, and we don’t need it that much anymore. On the contrary: it would be good if everyone came to understand the function of the ego so that they could choose when to listen and when not to. I firmly believe that if we could teach people this we could end all wars, because war is the most extreme manifestation of collective fear there is.

It’s always fear

Even if a war is started to gain something, like more land or natural resources; it is still a matter of extreme fear because then the fear is of losing face, not being ‘special’ or not being as great as one wants to portray oneself to followers.

Fear is also what motivates those who are rich as Midas to still want more and more while they fight tooth and nail to protect what they already have. They of course fear losing their riches and some go to the extreme and don’t care who they hurt, they just have to get more and more money! This is what is happening within the medical and food industry; they try to sell really bad stuff to us instead of what we actually need and what is good for us. I’m certain that many people who work within these companies really want to do good, and really believe in what they have been told by their superiors, but the deception is mind-blowing. This is also what makes those who sell tobacco and other harmful stuff say over and over again that their merchandise is not toxic, even though the evidence says something totally different.

Fight Hate With Love

What we need to do is to spread knowledge about the difference between ego and self, that could at least be a beginning.

What do you think? Please leave a comment and don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter and get your free gift!



20 thoughts on “Fight hate with love”

    1. Hi Peggy! Thank you, so kind of you 🙂
      Yes, we need more love in the world, it could change everything and there is no downside to it 🙂
      Blessings, Kristina

  1. Beautiful post Kristina, and well written. When we educate ourselves with the knowledge of ego and self we can become liberated and free to embody the love that we are. There is so much of this knowledge available now through many resources like the books you suggest on your website and also like this great blog. Thank you for this great resource. Warmly, Heather

    1. Thank you Heather, how very sweet of you.
      It is a great relief to realize that one doesn’t have to get angry at everything and that not all things that happen are worthy of our energy.
      Love and light, Kristina

  2. Lovely post. You are speaking here of the highest of virtues: love. In the Christian tradition, St. Paul speaks about faith, hope and love as the paramount qualities, and that the greatest of these is love. Jesus himself said to his friends: I give you a new commandment – love on another. We are not talking about mere feelings, but of acts of the will in harmony with the greater good.

    1. Thank you Mike for your lovely comment! Love is really all we need and it is such a relief to figure out that we don’t have to retaliate as soon as we feel our ego buttons being pushed. There is only love and lack of love, that’s all there is to it.

      Blessings, Kristina

  3. Great post indeed. Lovely

    When we think of love and hate we think of them as opposites. It’s like love travels all the way to the right and hate all the way to the left.. forever.

    In my experience, I have found the “feelings” of love and hate to be very closely linked together. I’ve had the experience of “loving” someone and then because they hurt me badly I now “hate” them.

    I ask myself… how could this be?

    Then I find I say to myself “I love you” closely followed by “I hate you”!!!

    This was when I realised something really didn’t gel here!

    Hate is a horrible word and really shouldn’t even be in our vocab. So what’s going on?

    In reality I agree that all we need to do is act in love. How would I like to be treated? In a loving way? Sure! So act the same way to others. It’s so much more than a “feeling” but sometimes a cold-blooded deliberate action! Fight hate with love is exactly right.

    Your explanation of ego has added nicely to my understanding of the process.

    1. Thank you Marilyn, I think you are right; love and hate are closely linked. It’s those we love the most that can hurt as the worst and get us to hate them most of all. I also think that that hate is really fear of abandonment and rejection.

      Hate really is a horrible word and nowadays it is used so frequently and people are getting used to using it in any and all situations, which is really bad. We would be better of not using it at all, and learning to love and focus on appreciation instead of negativity.

      I was so happy to understand self and ego, it was an incredible relief!

      Namaste, Kristina

  4. Hello, Kristina!

    I wouldn’t say that it is always fear. But fear is surely one big part. I also think ego is a very important tool, not only to survive in the stoneage, it is also in our now very important. The ego keeps us striving forward. It is not that easy because there are billions of point of views. Each and everybody has another understanding, is at another stage of self-development. We can’t fight hate with love because hate is the opposite of love and where love is there is also hate. It is the law of polarity that cause the existence of love as well as hate. To fight hate is to fight love in the same way. Both need each other to exist, to experience, and to know the difference between light and dark. Sure, hate is not beautiful, and the less we experience the better it is, but it belongs to us like love. You can’t experience light if there is only light. You can’t experience love if there is only love. You need to know the opposite as well to know the difference.

    Hope I could make my thought understandable.

    Have a great day


    1. Hi Alec, thanks for a great comment! I think you are right that we need the ego sometimes, but not by far as often as it kicks in for many people. Some don’t listen to the other voice, the self, at all, they only listen to the voice of the ego, and that’s a pity because it limits them so much.

      About fear and hate I think hate is always created by fear and in my opinion hate is not the opposite of love, it is lack of love. And to me the dark is not the opposite of light, it is the lack of light. So if you answer hate with love you increase the level of love in a situation, just as you light up the darkness when you turn on a light.

      Take care!



  5. Hey There Kristina!
    This a a very wonderful message that you are sharing here and I believe that alot more people should read this and try to get a better understanding of love! You are absolutely correct as when you emphasize ‘fear’ in the forms of losing power which indeed is manifested through ones self ego, Great job! I hope you keep writig!

    1. Hi Shane,

      thanks for your kind comment! It’s so easy and yet so hard to work with oneself and learn to react in a loving way, but it’s so worth it when you begin to notice the peace within. I will keep writing and I hope you will come back to see more of what I write!

      Namaste, Kristina

  6. Very interesitng perspective on hate and love. Both extreme ends of a spectrum which most definately need to be balanced out in your life. Too much of either is unrealistic and can be detremental to your other goals in life. Overall this is a pretty cool site on the spiritual perspective on a range of topics. Im going to keep looking around. Thanks 🙂

    1. Thanks Chris, how kind of you! Love really needs to grow in our world, there is so much fear and hate going on and we need to change it or we are headed for disaster. To me love and acceptance are crucial and help me feel calm and content. Knowing about how the ego works is a huge relief and helps me think twice before I get angry at someone and that feels just great!

      Hope you like what you find in the website!

      Namaste Kristina

  7. Nice article!

    To be honest, I think that hunter-gatherer cultures regard one another with great love. You can see that plainly in the remaining tribes of the world, though our terrible machine of progress consumes them and spews out garbage, waste, and death.

    In this age, we are the most egoistical we’ve ever been as a species and we are shooting ourselves in the head with denial, that this can’t happen to us that we are somehow exempt from the consequences of our actions (karma).

    In the hunter-gatherer days there was an emphasis on social bonding and I think people tended to feel a much more connected to one another and with the land.

    But I agree with the general message that you can’t fight a forest fire with a flamethrower, so to speak. And this is a lesson humanity will need to remember if we are to survive on this planet in the coming centuries.

    1. Thanks Ian!

      What I meant with that we needed the ego during the times when we were hunters-gatherers was that then we needed to be able to react in a split second to an outside threat, like a saber toothed tiger or a bear or something.

      There is no way for us to stop the wars by throwing bombs on each other, the only way we can get peace is if we start with ourselves.

      Namaste, Kristina

  8. A great article, I think you are absolutely spot on in everything you say.

    I find your comment about large companies particularly interesting – it does seem that people who want to do so much good often seem to end up doing so much harm when they are in positions of power such as running major corporations. The world would be a different place if they could remember what they set out to achieve in the first place and spread love instead of hate!

    1. Hi Paul, thanks for your comment!

      You are right; so many times a company is started with the best of intentions, and then when it gets bigger the hunger for money takes over. They start cutting corners and adding cheap and bad stuff or other bad things, like paying really low salaries to their workers. It’s strange how this is so common, and really, really sad.

      Namaste, Kristina

  9. Wow :O What you’re doing here is so useful! It is very exciting and helpful.. In my opinion, love is the absolute best way to fight hatred. I also like that you write in a very detailed and thorough manner. Also, it is written in a very easy to understand language. I am definitely going to bookmark this page. I might even consider showing it to some of my friends 🙂

    1. Hi Daniel, nice of you to drop by and thank you for your sweet comment. I really believe that we need to examine our reactions and try to bring more love into our lives and see that the best reaction to everything that happens is to add love. The gut reaction might be anger or fear, but if we take a step back we can see that what looks like an attack at first glance is often fear based, and if we do not respond with anger we can defuse most situations.

      Namaste, Kristina

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