The best way to create a satisfying life and good relationships with others is to start by loving yourself! If you love yourself you will naturally radiate a healthy self-respect and others will mirror this back to you. You will automatically treat yourself and your body well, by making sure you eat and drink things that are good for you, exercise to stay fit, get enough sleep and so on. Loving yourself helps you stay away from unhealthy habits such as drugs, alcohol, smoking and other forms of addictive and negative substances. If you don’t love and respect yourself you cannot give true and unconditional love to others, that is because you can’t possibly give away what you don’t have! It is important for your relationships with your family and friends that you love yourself, it makes for a healthy atmosphere around you.
By loving yourself, of course I do not mean you should consider yourself better or more important than others, that is not healthy self love! You should instead consider yourself just as good as everyone else, no more, no less. Putting yourself before others is not self-respect; it is actually a sign of weakness. If you have real self-respect you don’t need to put yourself before others.
The inner voice
So many of us have an inner voice that insists we are stupid, ugly, inferior and just plain wrong, in every possible way. That inner critic is very quick to point out every possible mistake we make, even if we are not at fault, the voice is still there to tell us what we should have done instead of what we did. It is very efficient, that inner voice, it keeps us from doing so many things that we wanted to do, but does it help? No, it does not. I don’t know of anyone who has become a better person by listening to their inner tormenting voice. It only holds us back, stifling our every attempt to grow and prosper and telling us we should not dream big.
How to change the inner voice
There are quite a few different ways to change the self-critical inner voice. One is to try and monitor your thoughts, which of course sounds exhausting, but it actually works! You can’t monitor every single one of them, but you can start thinking consciously. You do this by checking how you feel, and if you are feeling low , you know you need to think happier thoughts. Try to think of something you love, something that makes you laugh! Watch something fun on TV or read a funny book. You can also start holding your head high and your shoulders back, because the thing is, it works both ways! If you have a proud posture, you will feel better than if you crouch.
Affirming is another really excellent way to change your thoughts about yourself. If you keep thinking that you are good, lovable, precious, worthy and so on, over and over again, you will make it a habit and start believing it. You can also smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how good you look and what a wonderful person you are, because you really are!
One important and very effective thing you can do is to never, ever talk yourself down to others! When you get a compliment; just say thank you! Don’t do what we so often tend to do i.e play it down and state what is wrong and flawed. Just accept the compliment with gratitude. Saying bad things about yourself or others is a fake way to try to feel better, and it doesn’t work! If you instead say nice things about yourself or others you will feel gratified with a genuine sense of positivity.
Do you have any tips and tricks of your own? Please write your comments or questions in the comments section below!